Strong female characters.

A friend of mine tweeted this short piece from the New York Times called "A Plague of Strong Female Characters". I had to stop and read it because I use this phrase regularly. I like TV shows that feature strong female characters, books that feature the same, and I aspire to be a strong female myself.

I think that one of the problems with this phrase - the author of the piece obviously takes issue with it - is that it all depends on your definition of "strong." To me, toughness is a part of it. I am probably less sympathetic than many women, but I do still cry at any touching moment in a movie (I am not an emotional robot!). But there is something strong about controlling your emotions - not letting other people's words, actions, or opinions cut you down or cause you to lose control. Do I always hold myself together? No, but I also don't freely let myself get tossed back and forth on an emotional roller coaster all the time.

Also, I value physical strength and have always been one to play with the boys, play sports, push myself to physical limits. Our family often spoke the words, "if it doesn't kill you, it just makes you stronger." You don't have to be a body builder, but simply understand that the body is a tool that can do far more than most people think.

And most of all, a strong female character to me has confidence. It can be a quiet confidence or a boisterous confidence, but confidence nonetheless. I personally prefer a kind, polite, and humble confidence. She is confident in her character, her abilities, and her experiences. And because of that confidence, she is resilient, she doesn't get pushed around, she holds true to her values, she has goals and ambition, she is ready to take on the world. She may have fears, but she doesn't let them hold her back. She may not be good at something, let alone the best at something, but it doesn't stop her from giving it her best shot. She may fail, may have a breakdown, may experience hardship, may have a sobfest (what I call having "a moment") - but the story doesn't end there for her. Life does not end with being a pity party, but she picks herself back up, dusts herself off, and finds her confidence again.

This author claims that "“Strong women characters” are a canard. They refer to the old-fashioned “strong, silent type,” a type that tolerates very little blubbering, dithering, neuroticism, anxiety, melancholy or any other character flaw or weakness that makes a character unpredictable and human."

I agree that we all have our moments of weakness, anxiety, and neuroticism. But is this author trying to say that all women are like this? Or worse, should be like this? That I take issue with. Because if the world was full of blubbering, neurotic, weak, emotionally unstable people - women or men - who were unable to persevere through life's difficulties with some semblance of strength, I think the world would be a pretty terrible place.